Once upon a time, you needed charisma, emotional depth, and an actual personality to seduce someone. Now, all you need is an app and crippling insecurity. The fitness freaks have Ozempic to shrink-wrap their bodies into Instagrammable husks. Aspiring Ivy Leaguers have ChatGPT to buff their essays into polished admissions bait. And now, the tragically uncharming have their savior: Rizz—the AI Cyrano for the chronically charisma-challenged.
Rizz lets you select your ideal persona like toppings at a frozen yogurt bar: suave, glib, devil-may-care, with just a hint of tortured poet. Want to flirt like you’ve read Nabokov but party like Pete Davidson? Rizz will spin your existential dread into gold. No more fumbling texts, no more sweaty-palmed agony over emojis. Just upload your awkward energy and let the algorithm rewrite you as a velvet-voiced Lothario gliding through DMs like a pheromone-soaked shark.
It’s destined to succeed. Why? Because nothing fuels an app’s virality like watching hopeless men date women they previously couldn’t make eye contact with. Even the confident guys—those smug gents who used to dominate the dating pool with actual charm—will start to feel inadequate without Rizz’s synthetic edge.
And here’s the twist: the women on the other end? Also using Rizz. Which means we’ve entered a brave new world where bots are romancing bots while their human operators sit slack-jawed in the background, binge-watching Love Island and wondering why they feel dead inside. The courtship dance has become a tech support ticket. Romance hasn’t just died—it’s been uploaded, optimized, and drained of all humanity. Welcome to the algorithmic afterlife.
Cinemorphosis 
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