The Night the Mechanical Diver Stayed Home

Last night I escorted my family and in-laws to a breezy bistro in Redondo Beach, the kind of place where the ocean air does half the marketing. We sat on the patio while a two-man cover band—guitar and bass, faces cured by sun and time—worked their way through the canon: Gordon Lightfoot, Jim Croce, James Taylor. Their voices had the texture of driftwood. The songs arrived like postcards from a quieter century.

For twenty years, a restaurant meant ceremony. I would strap on an expensive mechanical diver—the horological equivalent of cufflinks—and let it glint under low lighting as if I were auditioning for a role called “Man of Taste.” Five weeks ago, that instinct died without a funeral. In its place: a $110 Casio G-Shock GW-7900. No romance, no pretense, just a blunt instrument that tells time with the indifference of a wall clock. I wore it and felt, not diminished, but strangely settled. Our server had on a Casio Pro Trek. We exchanged a nod—the quiet recognition of two men who had defected from the same aesthetic regime.

Two weeks ago, I sold off a pair of mechanical divers. The absence registered as silence, not loss. Five weeks ago, I bought my first Tough Solar, Multiband-6 G-Shock—a Casio G-Shock Frogman GWF-1000. It feels like I’ve owned it for a decade. Time has warped, stretched, lost its usual proportions. My working theory is this: when an obsession mutates—when it takes a hard, unexpected turn—the brain lingers over the wreckage and the new terrain at once. Every moment gets over-processed, as if your mind is trying to reconcile two incompatible identities. The result is temporal inflation. Five weeks feel like ten years. Meanwhile, the watches I once coveted sit in their box like artifacts from a civilization I can’t quite remember belonging to.

I’ve made a few videos documenting this conversion. To my mild alarm, a handful of people have followed suit—buying the GW-7900, aiming their watches toward the Fort Collins signal tower like amateur astronomers chasing a frequency instead of a star. It’s absurd, and yet there it is: evidence that I may have drifted, however briefly, into the low orbit of influence. Not authority. Not expertise. Influence—the most accidental and least deserved of modern currencies.

The question now hovers: is this a phase or a verdict? Will some future mood—call it nostalgia, call it vanity—dust me with longing and send me back to my mechanical divers? Or have I crossed a line I can’t uncross, sealed inside a G-Shock logic that values precision over poetry? I don’t know. The future, like the tide, refuses to take requests.

What I do know is this: today I’ll need to punish myself with extra work in the garage gym. Last night I demolished a crispy chicken sandwich on brioche while listening to “If You Could Read My Mind,” and the song’s quiet sorrow did nothing to slow me down. If anything, it provided a soundtrack for excess—the softest possible music for a thoroughly unrestrained appetite.

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