Cinemorphosis

Category: technology

  • Mac Mini: Zero Drama, Unlike My Keyboard

    Mac Mini: Zero Drama, Unlike My Keyboard

    My four-day meltdown over buying a Mac Mini has finally burned itself out. After mourning the supposed death of my Windows life, wrestling two USB hubs into place, learning how to coax footage out of my Nikon Z30’s card reader, and plugging in the printer, mic, and camera without a single blood sacrifice, I’ve arrived at an unthinkable conclusion: the Mac Mini works. Beautifully. The true villain of this saga wasn’t Apple at all—it was my Asus gaming keyboard, a neon-lit diva with firmware that refused to speak the Mac’s language. I spent days wondering why my keystrokes vanished into the void before finally facing the truth: the Mac wasn’t confused; it was offended.

    So I brokered a diplomatic exchange with my daughter. I surrendered the petulant Asus and reclaimed my old Das Keyboard, a respectable mechanical slab that speaks fluent Mac with zero drama. Now everything hums along: no heat, no fan whine, no mysterious failures—just quiet competence. Will I buy another Mac someday? Ask me again in five years. For now, I’m enjoying the peace of a machine that doesn’t ask me to troubleshoot its feelings.

  • The Word of the Year Points to the Collective Loss of Our Minds

    The Word of the Year Points to the Collective Loss of Our Minds

    The Word of the Year is supposed to capture the moment we’re living in—our collective mood, our shared madness. As Amogh Dimri explains in “Rage Bait Is a Brilliant Word of the Year,” we’re no longer defined by reason or restraint but by whatever emotion the attention economy yanks out of us. Dimri reminds us that 2023 gave us rizz and 2024 bestowed brain rot. In other words, when our brains aren’t decomposing from endless scrolling, we’re wide awake and quivering with unhinged outrage. This may explain why I now hate driving more than folding laundry or going to the dentist. The roads are filled with people whose minds seem equal parts rotted and enraged—and the algorithms aren’t helping.

    Dimri cites the Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of rage bait as “online content deliberately designed to elicit anger” in order to goose traffic and juice engagement. An elegant description for something as crude as poking humanity’s collective bruise.

    Critics complain that Oxford’s online voting process indulges the very brain rot it warns us about, but I’m with Dimri. Oxford is right to acknowledge how digital speech shapes culture. Ignoring these terms would be like pretending smog doesn’t count as weather. Rage bait is influential because it packs the whole human condition—weakness, manipulation, and political dysfunction—into two syllables. And, as I’d add, it also produces drivers who treat the road like a demolition derby.

    As for predecessors, rage bait didn’t appear out of thin air. Vince McMahon practically drafted its blueprint decades ago. His wrestling empire ran on kayfabe, where performers wore the mask of rage so long they eventually believed it. Something similar has infected our online discourse. The performance swallowed the performer, and here we are—furious, fragmented, and algorithmically herded into traffic.

  • The First 24 Hours of Using My Mac Mini M4 Have Not Been Promising

    The First 24 Hours of Using My Mac Mini M4 Have Not Been Promising

    I had been wanting to work at my desk with two 27-inch monitors and a quiet small, form factor desktop to replace my old Acer gaming laptop connected to a monitor at my desk for a long time. I did a lot of research and finally settled on a Mac Mini M4 with 32GB RAM and 1TB SSD. Yesterday I began the process of leaving Windows, after 7 years, and working in the Mac OS system. 

    So far I regret my decision. The hardware on the Mac Mini is impressive. It is a beautiful, fast, responsive machine. However, it is too fussy for me and it doesn’t work well with hubs and peripherals, which you need if you want to be fully functional at your desk. 

    It doesn’t respond to my Asus mechanical keyboard after it falls asleep, so I have to turn off and restart the computer just to get it to respond to my keyboard. 

    I have to buy a USB converter so the A on my wired keyboard can go into the Mini’s C portal. That arrives later today.

    I’ve already bought an Anker hub that proved insufficient for the amount of ports I need. To be honest, I asked ChatGPT to recommend a hub, I gave it my requirements, and ChatGPT gave me inaccurate information. Not only did ChatGPT tell me to get a hub with insufficient ports, it told me to get a powered one, so I bought a power brick and power cable as well. My engineering friend came over and said a passive hub would have actually worked better, so ChatGPT was wrong on two fronts. I feel stupid for having trusted it. 

    I had my engineering friend help me connect my Edifier speakers and told me what hub to buy for my USB-A ports that I need for my camera, mic, and printer. 

    The Mac Mini fails in providing portals. If I were Apple, I would sell, for $200, a hub that turns the Mini into a true desktop. You need a portal for the following:

    • Keyboard
    • Mouse
    • Camera
    • Mic
    • Speakers
    • Two monitors
    • Printer
    • SD Card Reader

    Because my mechanical keyboard is not currently connected to the actual Mini but going through my Anker hub, the Mac is not reading it after the Mac wakes up, so I have to turn off the Mac. 

    The Mac Mini and Mac in general fails to provide a seamless experience when it comes to connecting peripherals. You have to follow too many protocols before it accepts “strangers” into its home and sometimes it seems to randomly kick out the strangers this way. 

    I’m also having problems with the mouse. When I want to scroll over three pages of content I wrote on Google Docs, the mouse stops when I get to a bottom of a page, so I have to copy and paste in pieces. This is terrible workflow. Perhaps I’ll find a solution to this, but it’s yet another reason I’m not liking my new Mac Mini.

    Another failure of Mac in general is workflow. My wife and I are both teachers and my students have mostly Macs, and we all use Google Chrome for our workflow. Why hasn’t Apple come up with something like Google Docs and Google Chrome so workflow can be as appealing as Google Chrome? So far, it hasn’t. 

    I’m using Google Chrome on my Mac, which isn’t optimal because Google Chrome eats a lot of RAM and memory on Macs. That’s why I got 32GB RAM and 1TB SSD. 

    I have an Acer 516GE Chromebook in my room and it is seamless, fast, and works well with Google Chrome. 

    So far I’m not impressed with this Mac. My engineering friend, who loves his MacBook Pro, says to wait a week before I give up and give the Mac to my daughter or return it. 

    I’m not going to give up yet. If you’re like me and you want this amazing machine called the Mac Mini, I have some important advice based on what I’ve gone through the last 24 hours:

    1. Be sure you have a hub that meets your portal needs.
    2. If you like a mechanical keyboard wired with USB-A, get a C converter so you can plug it directly into the Mini so that the Mini reads your keyboard after it sleeps.
    3. Import all your Google Chrome bookmarks to Safari because your mouse won’t scroll on Google Docs in Chrome properly. It will, however, in Safari.

  • The Great Port Panic: Notes from a Man Who Bought Two Mac Minis

    The Great Port Panic: Notes from a Man Who Bought Two Mac Minis

    My wife’s seven-year-old iMac has slowed to a crawl, spinning that cursed “wheel of death” like a medieval torture device. My own seven-year-old laptop, lashed to a monitor like a patient in an ICU, hasn’t exactly delivered the clarity and comfort I need at my desk. For years I procrastinated on upgrades for the usual reasons—data migration, password authentication, DPI settings, monitor heights, the question of whether the mouse goes left or right. Every new computer setup promises productivity but arrives with a Costco-sized migraine.

    At Thanksgiving, my brother-in-law delivered the slap: “Get off your butt and replace them. RAM prices are exploding. AI is eating the supply.” He said it with the urgency of a man who has watched a tech apocalypse montage on fast-forward.

    I went back and forth between a Lenovo business mini PC and a Mac Mini, like a man choosing between two religions, neither of which he fully trusts. In the end I rolled the dice on Cupertino. I bought two identical Mac Minis—M4, 32GB RAM, 1TB SSD. I’m either a pragmatic genius or the biggest sucker Apple has netted since the butterfly keyboard years.

    Last night I couldn’t sleep. I lay in the dark obsessing over the only question that matters to men of a certain age: Does it have enough ports? I have a mechanical keyboard, a mouse, Edifier speakers, two 27-inch monitors, a printer, an SD reader for my Nikon Z30, and ethernet. Eight connections. The Mac Mini has two USB-A ports and some USB-C wizardry that feels like a riddle designed by a monk from the USB Consortium. So I bought an Anker multi-port hub. But of course the hub isn’t self-sufficient—you must also buy the 100W charger, and the 100W cable, like tech accessories sold separately from your dignity.

    Then there’s the setup. I’ll have to dive into Apple System Settings and tell the machine who I am: configure the mechanical keyboard, calibrate the Dell and Asus monitors, coax the printer to speak in the dialect of Cupertino. I haven’t used macOS in years. My engineering friend—who worships his MacBook Pro like it’s Thor’s hammer—assures me, “The extra you pay for Apple is stupid tax.” I’m not sure whether I’m buying ease of use or a velvet rope to my own humiliation.

    But the final boss isn’t the ports, or the migration, or the learning curve. It’s the aesthetics. I will have a quiet four-inch metal cube powering two gleaming monitors. I want the desk to look like a minimalist command station, not the back room of a RadioShack circa 1997. Every cable threatens the illusion. Every adapter is a serpent in Eden. The rat’s nest must not be allowed to encroach.

    This is why I waited so long to replace the old machines. Not because I feared expense or inconvenience—but because I feared myself. The arrival of a new computer flips my OCD switch like a Vegas neon sign. For the next week, I’ll be pacing my office like an engineer at Cape Canaveral—sleepless, wiring my life together one USB-C at a time.

  • The Rotator Cuff, the Honda Dealership, and the Human Soul

    The Rotator Cuff, the Honda Dealership, and the Human Soul

    Life has a way of mocking our plans. You stride in with a neat blueprint, and the universe responds by flinging marbles under your feet. My shoulder rehab, for instance, was supposed to be a disciplined, daily ritual: the holy grail of recovering from a torn rotator cuff. Instead, after one enthusiastic session, both shoulders flared with the kind of throbbing soreness reserved for muscles resurrected from the dead (though after walking home from Honda, it occurred to me that my right shoulder soreness is probably the result of a tetanus shot). So much for the doctor’s handouts of broomstick rotations and wall flexions. Today, the new fitness plan is modest: drop off the Honda for service, walk two miles home, and declare that my workout. Tomorrow: to be determined by the whims of my tendons and sore muscles.

    Teaching is no different. I’ve written my entire Spring 2026 curriculum, but then I read about humanities professor Alan Jacobs—our pedagogical monk—who has ditched computers entirely. Students handwrite every assignment in composition books; they read photocopied essays with wide margins, scribbling annotations in ink. According to Jacobs, with screens removed and the “LLM demons” exorcised, students rediscover themselves as human beings. They think again. They care again. I can see the appeal. They’re no longer NPCs feeding essays into the AI maw.

    But then I remembered who I am. I’m not a parchment-and-fountain-pen professor any more than I’m a pure vegan. I am a creature of convenience, pragmatism, and modern constraints. My students live in a world of laptops, apps, and algorithms; teaching them only quills and notebooks would be like handing a medieval knight a lightsaber and insisting he fight with a broomstick. I will honor authenticity another way—through the power of my prompts, the relevance of my themes, and the personal narratives that force students to confront their own thoughts rather than outsource them. My job is to balance the human soul with the tools of the age, not to bury myself—and my students—in nostalgia cosplay.

  • Has AI Broken Education—or Did We Break It First?

    Has AI Broken Education—or Did We Break It First?

    Argumentative Essay Prompt: AI, Education, and the Future of Human Thinking (1,700 words)

    Artificial intelligence has entered classrooms, study sessions, and homework routines with overwhelming speed. Some commentators argue that this shift is not just disruptive but disastrous. Ashanty Rosario, a high school student, warns in “I’m a High Schooler. AI Is Demolishing My Education” that AI encourages passivity, de-skills students, and replaces authentic learning with the illusion of competence. Lila Shroff, in “The AI Takeover of Education Is Just Getting Started,” argues that teachers and institutions are unprepared, leaving students to navigate a digital transformation with no guardrails. Damon Beres claims in “AI Has Broken High School and College” that classrooms are devolving into soulless content factories in which students outsource both thought and identity. These writers paint a bleak picture: AI is not just a tool—it is a force accelerating the decay of intellectual life.

    Other commentators take a different approach. Ian Bogost’s “College Students Have Already Changed Forever” argues that the real transformation happened long before AI—students have already become transactional, disengaged, and alienated, and AI simply exposes a preexisting wound. Meanwhile, Tyler Austin Harper offers two counterpoints: in “The Question All Colleges Should Ask Themselves About AI,” he insists that institutions must rethink how assignments function in the age of automation; and in “ChatGPT Doesn’t Have to Ruin College,” he suggests that AI could amplify human learning if courses are redesigned to reward original thinking, personal insight, and intellectual ambition rather than formulaic output.

    In a 1,700-word argumentative essay, defend, refute, or complicate the claim that AI is fundamentally damaging education. Your essay must:

    • Take a clear position on whether AI erodes learning, enhances it, or transforms it in ways that require new pedagogical strategies.
    • Analyze how Rosario, Shroff, and Beres frame the dangers of AI for intellectual development, motivation, and classroom culture.
    • Compare their views with Bogost and Harper, who argue that education itself—not AI—is the root of the crisis, or that educators must adapt rather than resist.
    • Include a counterargument–rebuttal section that addresses the strongest argument you disagree with.
    • Use at least four credible sources in MLA format, including at least three of the essays listed above.

    Your goal is not to summarize the articles but to evaluate what they reveal about the future of learning: Is AI the villain, the scapegoat, or a tool we have not yet learned to use wisely?

  • Does AI Destroy or Redefine Learning?

    Does AI Destroy or Redefine Learning?

    Argumentative Essay Prompt: The Effects of AI on Education (1,700 words)

    Artificial intelligence has raised alarm bells in education. Critics argue that students now rely so heavily on AI tools that they are becoming users rather than thinkers—outsourcing curiosity, creativity, and problem-solving to machines. In this view, the classroom is slowly deteriorating into a culture of passivity, distraction, and what some call a form of “communal stupidity.”

    In his Atlantic essay “My Students Use AI. So What?” linguist and educator John McWhorter challenges this narrative. Instead of treating AI as a threat to intelligence, he examines the everyday media consumption of his tween daughters. They spend little time reading traditional books, yet their time online exposes them to sophisticated humor, stylized language, and clever cultural references. Rather than dulling their minds, McWhorter argues, certain forms of media sharpen them—and occasionally reach the level of genuine artistic expression.

    McWhorter anticipates objections. Books demand imagination, concentration, and patience. He does not deny this. But he asks whether we have elevated books into unquestioned sacred objects. Human creativity has always existed in visual, auditory, and performative arts—not exclusively on the printed page.

    Like many educators, McWhorter also acknowledges that schooling must adapt. Just as no teacher today would demand students calculate square roots without a calculator, he recognizes that assigning a formulaic five-paragraph essay invites AI to automate it. Teaching must evolve, not retreat. He concludes that educators and parents must create new forms of engagement that work within the technological environment students actually inhabit.

    Is McWhorter persuasive? In a 1,700-word argumentative essay, defend, refute, or complicate his central claim that AI is not inherently corrosive to thinking, and that education must evolve rather than resist technological realities. Your essay should:
    • Make a clear, debatable thesis about AI’s influence on learning, creativity, and critical thinking.
    • Analyze how McWhorter defines intelligence, skill, and engagement in digital environments.
    • Include a counterargument–rebuttal section in which you address why some technologies may be so disruptive that adapting to them becomes impossible—or whether that fear misunderstands how students actually learn.
    • Use evidence from McWhorter and at least two additional credible sources.
    • Include a Works Cited page in MLA format with at least four sources total.

    Your goal is not to simply summarize McWhorter, but to weigh his claims against reality. Does AI open new modes of literacy, or does it train us into passive consumption? What does responsible adaptation look like, and where do we draw the line between embracing tools and surrendering agency?

    Building Block 1: Introduction Paragraph:

    Write a 300-word paragraph describing a non-book activity—such as a specific YouTube channel, a TikTok creator, an online gaming stream, or a subreddit—that entertains you while also requiring real engagement and intellectual effort. Do not speak in broad generalities; focus on one example. Describe what drew you to that content and what makes it more than passive consumption. If you choose a subreddit, explain how it operates: Do members debate technical details, challenge arguments, post layered memes that reference politics or philosophy, or analyze social behavior that demands you understand context and nuance? If you choose a video or stream, describe how its pacing, humor, visual cues, or language force you to track patterns, notice subtle callbacks, or recognize sarcasm and satire. Show how your brain works to interpret signals, anticipate moves, decode cultural references, or evaluate whether the creator is being sincere, ironic, or manipulative. Explain how this activity cultivates cognitive skills—pattern recognition, strategic thinking, language sensitivity, humor literacy, or cultural analysis—that are not identical to reading but still intellectually substantial. Then connect your experience to John McWhorter’s argument in “My Students Use AI. So What?” by explaining how your engagement challenges the assumption that screen-based media turns young people into passive consumers. McWhorter claims that digital content can sharpen minds by exposing viewers to stylized language, comedic timing, and creative expression; show how your chosen activity illustrates (or complicates) this point. Conclude by reflecting on whether the skills you are developing—whether from decoding layered Reddit discussions or following complex video essays—are simply different from the skills cultivated by books, or whether they offer alternative paths to intelligence that schools and parents should take seriously.

    Building Block 2: Conclusion

    Write a 250-word conclusion in which you step back from your argument and explain what your thesis reveals about the broader social implications of online entertainment. Do not summarize your paper. Instead, reflect on how your analysis has changed the way you think about digital media and your own habits as a viewer, gamer, or participant. Explain how your chosen example—whether a subreddit, a content creator, a gaming channel, or another digital space—demonstrates that online entertainment is not automatically a form of distraction or intellectual decay. Discuss how interacting with this media has trained you to interpret tone, decode humor or irony, follow complex narratives, or understand cultural signals that are easy to miss if you are not paying attention. Then consider what this means for society: If students are learning language, timing, persuasion, and nuance in digital environments, how should teachers, parents, and institutions respond? Should they continue to treat online entertainment as a threat to literacy, or as an alternate path to it? Draw a connection between your growth as a thinker and the larger question of where intelligence is cultivated in the 21st century. End your paragraph with a reflection on how your relationship to digital media has changed: Do you now view certain forms of online entertainment as trivial distractions, or as unexpected arenas where people practice rhetorical agility, cultural awareness, and cognitive skill?

  • How Cupertino Became the Daycare of Computing

    How Cupertino Became the Daycare of Computing

    George Carlin used to riff on the difference between baseball and football. Baseball, he said, was bucolic and innocent, all sunshine and fresh grass, a place where no one ever really got hurt. Football, by contrast, was a mechanized assault: helmets, blitzes, aerial bombardments, and strategic violence. If Carlin were alive and tormenting the tech world on YouTube, he’d have the same bit about Windows and Apple.

    Windows is adult golf in Florida. You’re on a sprawling course with crosswinds, hurricane alerts, gator-infested water hazards, and snakes hiding in the reeds. Everything is dangerous, unpredictable, and just a little thrilling. You’re free out there. You’re a professional. You drive a ball into the storm with the confidence of someone who believes he belongs in the arena.

    Apple OS, on the other hand, is miniature golf. The obstacles are neon dragons, ceramic elves, and snowmen with friendly smiles. The path is fenced so the ball doesn’t roll anywhere interesting. The course is supervised by Cupertino kindergarten teachers who hand you a juice box and a blanket every time you panic. It’s safe. It’s adorable. It’s a padded cell with a “magic ecosystem” label slapped on top.

    Pride might tempt you to leave the kiddie course. You might fantasize about playing Windows golf with the adults—until the day a ten-foot alligator rises out of a swamp and clamps down on your leg, leaving you hobbling back to Apple, clutching your MacBook Air like a teddy bear.

    The lesson is simple: when you’re about to spend two grand on a computer, know who you are. Buy the machine that fits your temperament, not the fantasy persona you conjured on Reddit at 1 a.m.

  • The Cult of the Desktop Shrine

    The Cult of the Desktop Shrine

    There is a particular species of human for whom a new computer is not a tool — it’s a religious conversion. The desktop isn’t a workspace; it’s a cockpit for a future self, the glamorous avatar of the writer, artist, or content sorcerer they imagine they will become. People like this do not simply buy machines. They curate private shrines. A desk becomes an escape pod: LED lights humming like temple candles, two monitors glowing like stained-glass windows, and the mechanical keyboard serving as a holy relic. Once seated, the outside world ceases to exist — or so the fantasy goes — until an eBay tab opens and suddenly a $2,500 dive watch begs for attention, or a pair of ergonomic walking shoes on sale becomes a spiritual priority. Sacredness is delicate; it collapses at the first whiff of retail dopamine.

    I speak as one of these zealots. I live in a small home with a wife and two teenage daughters, so I protect the illusion of solitude with the devotion of a medieval monk. My desktop setup has become my monastery. For seven years, I have sat beside the same computer: a 15.6-inch Acer Predator Triton 500 with an RTX 2080, perched like a retired fighter pilot on a wooden pedestal. Beside it stands a 27-inch Asus Designo 4K monitor. My keyboard is an Asus Rog Strix Scope II fitted with “quiet snow” switches — though I still regret not choosing switches that click like a typewriter possessed by Bukowski.

    Here’s the problem: the machine refuses to die. It doesn’t slow down, wheeze, or show symptoms of electronic mortality. It handles everything I throw at it. This stubborn longevity has become an accusation. If I truly mattered — if I were a world-crushing content creator — surely I would need M4 silicon or a Windows Ultra 9. But here I am, a humble i7 and RTX 2080 carrying my entire life on its back like a mule. The message is humiliating: you produce so little that even an elderly predator laptop barely notices your existence. I am not a digital gladiator. I am an NPC.

    One half of me wants to honor the Acer’s absurd durability. I want to see how long it lasts: eight years? Ten? Will it run until I am eighty and my daughters sell it on Facebook Marketplace to a grad student writing her dissertation? The other half of me yearns for a new identity — a fresh cockpit. I fantasize about a Lenovo ThinkPad P16, a machine with the aesthetic of a NATO command center. In my imagination I would sit before it, efficient and unstoppable, a productivity samurai. Then I read about thermals, swollen batteries, and the corporate decay of ThinkPad build quality, and the fantasy curdles.

    Mini PCs tempt me, too — elegant little cubes promising freedom from laptop fan noise. But then I scroll deeper and learn about overheating, BIOS drama, firmware rituals, and mysterious Windows gremlins that exist only for people who try to “optimize.” This is when I confront the truth: Windows PCs are for people fluent in Linux, the jiu-jitsu masters of tech. These individuals have tattoos of penguins on their forearms and spend weekends customizing drivers the way normal people mow their lawns. They don’t “use computers.” They tame them.

    I am not that creature. I am a man who gets nervous updating his router. This leaves me with one path: the Mac Mini. Not because I am enlightened, but because the walls of Apple’s walled garden keep me from accidentally burning the place down. Windows is a vast golf course stretching to the horizon. MacOS is miniature golf: enclosed, guarded, brightly colored obstacles that keep your ball out of the swamp. I must accept who I am — a timid, high-functioning idiot — and pick the putter.

    And yet, when people complain about laptops dying after three years, I can raise a hand and say: “Seven years. RTX 2080. Still alive.” It is not greatness, but it is a kind of glory.

  • Camp Flog Gnaw: The Weekend That Broke My Driving Career

    Camp Flog Gnaw: The Weekend That Broke My Driving Career

    Camp Flog Gnaw was a weekend-long bacchanal of sound and sweat for my wife and our twin daughters, two days of music and mayhem baked under the unforgiving Los Angeles sun. My wife braved the trip on Friday and came home looking like a survivor of a maritime disaster, muttering that leaving Dodger Stadium traffic was like trying to escape a collapsing pyramid. She begged me to handle Sunday drop-off and assured me they would Uber home like civilized people. Armed with a “Fast Pass” for the 110 North, I engaged Google Maps, which promptly betrayed me and sent me barreling into downtown—an urban obstacle course specifically engineered to destroy men my age. Pedestrians sprang into the street like feral pigeons, daring me to earn a manslaughter charge. Driverless Waymo cars drifted past me with pastel-lit antennae, cheerful like clown hearses guiding me into the underworld. The lanes themselves seemed painted by committee: solid, dashed, turning, not turning, red, green, “maybe stop,” “maybe don’t”—a psychedelic optical exam administered at 20 mph.

    When I finally dropped off my wife and daughters, I whispered a confession to my wife: “I think I’m giving my Accord to you, and the other car to the girls. I’m retiring from the driving game.” They didn’t laugh; they’ve seen cracks in the armor. I’m a high-strung man, and at sixty-four, the neurons don’t fire like they used to. I can still handle a five-mile radius around my house—my personal demilitarized zone—but pull me into the wilds of Los Angeles traffic and I’m ready to hang up my driver’s jersey. Downtown LA isn’t a city. It’s a gladiatorial arena where the young come to dominate, and I say to myself, “This is no country for old men.”