#1: Doppelganger Effect
When your online double becomes hotter, louder, meaner—and more successful than you.
#2 Likelepsy
A convulsive need for validation triggered by spikes in engagement and followed by a crushing dopamine crash.
#3 Privacide
The voluntary and cheerful execution of your privacy in exchange for predictive weather, curated playlists, and targeted ads for pants you only thought about.
#4 TMI-rrhea
An unstoppable stream of personal disclosures that nobody asked for and everyone wishes they could unsee.
#5 Confessistan
A nation where every citizen is legally required to document their feelings, bowel movements, and brunch choices for public consumption.
#6 Cringe Fatigue
A pang of cringe, sadness, and vicarious embarrassment experienced mid-scroll as you witness your friend’s dignity dissolve into hashtags and hot takes.
#7 Narrativitis
The chronic compulsion to turn real life into a curated, melodramatic storyline, complete with mood lighting and sad indie music.
#8 FOMOblivion
A cognitive blackout where the fear of missing out completely eclipses the joy of being present, addressing your real needs, and the real needs of others because you’re constantly seething in envy and anxiety over hyped-up trifles.
#9 Scrolloticism
The act of finding emotional pleasure in self-inflicted torment via outrage consumption and doomscrolling and compensatory self-aggrandizing content posing.
#10 The Narrative Trap
When your life becomes a story written by everyone else, and the only thing you can’t do is rewrite your part.
#11 Feedgret
A soul-curdling regret triggered by the realization that you’ve been publicly cosplaying as your best self while quietly decaying inside.
#12 InstaShame Spiral
A violent emotional plunge brought on by rereading your old captions and realizing you’ve been subtweeting your own dignity for years.
Cinemorphosis 
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