When the Cloud Crashes and Humanity Briefly Reboots

Amazon Web Services crashed this morning, dragging half the digital universe down with it. Canvas, my college’s sacred “learning management system,” is among the casualties. I have a class in an hour. No panic, though. I can still hand out a physical sheet of paper—what the ancients called attendance—and my Google Slides are miraculously alive. So yes, the show will go on.

Still, I can’t help savoring the schadenfreude of this AWS outage. What if it took social media down with it? Imagine: no more performative friendships, no more dopamine duels in the comment sections, no more algorithmic outrage masquerading as civic discourse. Maybe we’d start talking to each other again—face to face, like mammals. Maybe we’d even regain the human capacity for silence.

Of course, this is delusional optimism on my part. Civilization won’t reboot itself because a few data centers hiccuped. I need to quit romanticizing the apocalypse and focus on my real challenge: surviving two hours with a roomful of chatty college athletes while explaining “emotional depth” and “mapping components.”

Wish me luck. My Canvas may be dead, but my dry-erase marker still lives.