I’ve tried to be candid about where my watch hobby is headed. For years I lived in the land of mechanical divers—those charming little machines that require winding, adjusting, and periodic visits to a watchmaker who looks at you the way a veterinarian looks at a sick horse. Lately, however, I seem to be drifting toward a different ecosystem: Multiband 6 atomic time delivered by my G-Shock Frogman, a watch that feeds on sunlight and quietly synchronizes itself with atomic clocks while I sleep. It is difficult to compete with a device that performs its duties with the calm efficiency of a Swiss train conductor who never needs coffee. The responses to this confession have been varied. Some readers nod knowingly and say they went through the same conversion. Their mechanical watches now sit motionless in drawers like retired prizefighters who once thrilled crowds but now spend their days remembering the old days. One friend is currently wandering around Thailand with a GW-5000U on his wrist and reports a level of contentment normally associated with Buddhist monks. Others have taken the opposite path and begun collecting Frogman models the way medieval villagers stockpiled shields before a siege, as if surrounding themselves with these massive amphibious contraptions might repel the chaos of modern life.

And then there are the critics. They inform me—sometimes gently, sometimes with theatrical alarm—that I have lost my mind, contracted a disease, and strapped a grotesque monstrosity to my wrist. I concede every point. I am indeed crazed with enthusiasm, and the Frogman is unquestionably a monstrosity. But it is the most magnificent monstrosity I have ever encountered. I appear to have entered what might be called Frogman Monstrosity Acceptance: the psychological stage in which the owner stops apologizing for the watch’s outrageous proportions and instead embraces them with pride. Yes, it is enormous. Yes, it looks like a small amphibious armored vehicle designed by engineers who distrust gravity. But once you surrender to its scale, the Frogman ceases to be embarrassing and becomes something far better—a gleefully excessive titan among polite timepieces.